Today is my four year wedding anniversary and I am inspired to write about love.
Love is a funny thing.
No matter what huge issues circle the world, love is always a greater preoccupation to all of us. Even soldiers at war, surrounded by violence and death, often worry more about getting a note from their loved one than whether they will be killed that day.
But the biggest worry of all is always whether we’ll even find it.
If you are looking to find love, make a list of all the qualities you are looking for in a partner. Make it specific; tall, handsome, non-smoker with sandy blonde hair that is not quite golden, not quite ash but somewhere in between, with understated dimples and a sidewards smile. Make sure you make a list of all the acceptable professions, hobbies and interests this person should have, and if possible, decide on their astrological symbol and draw up a chart of all the brands that would best represent their image as a consumer.
Now take that list and shred it into tiny little pieces and add it to your morning cereal. Make sure it has completely left your digestive tract before you proceed.
The thing about love is that it is not at all like interior design. It’s not at all about finding someone that suits your lifestyle and matches your décor. It’s not about finding that special someone who will wear matching beachwear as you walk along the shoreline at sunset together. In fact, expect very little of that. Relationships do, after all, all happen on planet earth.
You hear women sometimes asking each other questions like “is it bad if he’s an office worker? I don’t know if that would work for me” or “I don’t know if I could go out with someone who doesn’t like cats. Or morning runs. Or canned jalapenos over fresh ones.”
The answer is, it really doesn’t matter. The task at hand is not to find a replica of yourself in the opposite (or same) sex. The task is to find someone who will make you smile in the mornings when you are at your grumpiest, who will listen to your shit no matter how boring it is, who will make you feel beautiful even when you have massive zit on your nose and will hold your hand even when you’re fighting over a night of Enter the Dragon vs Lord of the Rings.
The truth is, prince charming might be a bricklayer from Ringwood who has two small children, he might be an advertising guru from Mumbai who earns big bucks at Saachi and Saachi or he might be an art teacher who is five years younger than you and drives a pink Volkswagen Beetle (God forbid).
The lesson I learnt I long time ago, is that preconceived notions are just pointless because love has its own plans. If you were to put Con and I into a compatibility software analysis program, you would find that never in a million years would we ever come up as being a good match based on logical criteria. In fact, the system might even issue me a warning to keep away for fear that coming into contact with someone so different to me might make me implode. But that’s just the thing- there is nothing logical about love.
So my small and humble advice for anyone looking for love is:
- Be open minded, don’t decide your favourite flavour is chocolate without trying all others.
- Remember that every person in the world has something worth loving and sometimes this is a treasure worth finding. And last but not least,
- Wear a helmet; love will hit you when you least expect it.
Reflections of a night owl. 
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